So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
