It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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