Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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