i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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