Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
