So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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