ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
