Will you blow on my dice?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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