Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Randomize
