Dual....:-)
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
