Dual....:-)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
