I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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