You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
