I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
pray to the hookup gods
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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