I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
