I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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