Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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