ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
