dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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