well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
vagina is talking i cant
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
