The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
wow bdsm is so cute
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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