i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
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He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
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