Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
