idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
