I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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