I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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