would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
