Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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