HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
