I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
