when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
