That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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