New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
