I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
