i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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