Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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