he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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