how can u be prego again
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize