Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
smell my finger.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
True strength comes from lack of pants
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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