I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
