Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
