I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
