I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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