school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
