They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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