At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Pooping to opera.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
