I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize