Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty

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(502): View more from Kentucky

if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.

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(925): View more from California

if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

How does that even work?

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?

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