Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
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Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.