I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
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I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?