kristin has been a bad kristin
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
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Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
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Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.