The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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