seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize