If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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