Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Pappa wants mamma naked
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize