He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
