Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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