is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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