i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my shit smells like andre
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
