If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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